That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize