Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
