I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
