I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
