Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
