If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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