Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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