spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
