the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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