Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
