i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
