I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
