Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
