dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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