haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
