chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize