The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize