My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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