I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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