i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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