Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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