He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
