is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
