You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
