hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
