Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
