Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
