I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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