I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
