Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
