Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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