she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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