He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
