Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Sober January is a disaster.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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