it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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