Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
