if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
