She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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