Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
