shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
