Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
