i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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