just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
