In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
