I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
