That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
