I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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