i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
