Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
