i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
