there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
