Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
