hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
