just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My life is pants optional.
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