I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize