What a fucking waste of an outfit
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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