I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
operation harelip BJ is a go
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
