SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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