its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
