Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize