problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
