It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't make out with my wife yet
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
