I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
