this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
